Oh my lovely pubic symphysis, how I wish you would stay whole.
This is not something I ever dreamed I would be silently chanting in my head during pregnancy. This is my second time around, so I was prepared for the third trimester swelling, the insufferable heartburn, the peeing every five seconds – ho hum, really.
Believe it or not, I actually split my pubic bone giving birth to my first son. His big ole’ head was stuck as I pushed for a good 2 1/2 hours. He was finally vacuumed out, but not before the damage had been done. I was unable to walk, and an ex-ray revealed that I had in fact split my pubic bone.
Pubic Symphysis Separation.
Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.
Crappity crap crap with a side of shake your fist at the sky.
With the help of pain meds, physical therapy for a couple weeks, and a doting husband, I was able to walk again just fine.
I believe the physical trauma may have contributed to my bout with PPD.
But I honestly took the approach that this second time around would be much easier, because I already experienced a whole hell of a lot the first time. I was looking forward to my piece of cake pregnancy and delivery.
But, at 24 weeks I found out that the chances are great it will all happen again.
In fact, the pubic bone has already started to separate. At 36 weeks, I’m wearing a support belt, popping Tylenol, hobbling when I have to, and laying around a lot on my side like a sad sad sea lion.
We are trying our best to make it to 39 weeks. Then I have a choice. I can have an elective c-section… or we can strip the membranes and induce labor. Of course, I can also wait until the baby decides to come on his own… but he will just grow bigger, and the damage will be even greater to my body. The c-section is major surgery, but could keep the splitting of the bone to a minimum. Labor and delivery increase the chances of some major separation of the bone.
Yet, I am choosing splitsville.
This is probably my last baby. This is my last chance to “experience” childbirth. I wanted it to be all natural – I even flirted with the idea of a home birth. I may not end up being able to do it without pain medication, but ultimately, I want to be a present as I can.
Been there done that. I have at least already done the whole physical therapy, dealing with the pain thing. I know that the first couple weeks are excruciating, but that I can also completely recover. My husband is taking off work, we have family traveling to come and help, and we know somewhat what to expect.
I have issues. Having a c-section terrifies me. I have never been cut open. I have some anxiety issues, and cannot stand the idea of not knowing or having control over what’s happening to my body. I can just see myself screaming at the doctor to put my organs back in and get her hands the f*ck out of my body. I’m almost positive that the minute I go numb and they put that divider up so I can’t see, I will lose. my. mind.
I desperately want to hold and nurse my baby right away. I can’t explain it, but I have a fierce need to have that baby placed on my chest as soon as possible. I don’t want to wait to be closed up. I don’t want stitches in the way of holding him to nurse.
I know more women who have had c-sections than have had vaginal births. You would think it wouldn’t be such a big deal to me. If it were an emergency, and my baby or myself were in danger, it wouldn’t be a question. But my doctor has left it up to me. The recovery time shouldn’t (hopefully) be very different. It’s simply a matter of what kind of pain, physical trauma, and recovery I’m willing to deal with.
So, I guess the main reason I’m choosing to split my pubic bone is…
PS- Okay, the pain meds are also REALLY good.