It’s Possible That Breastfeeding Is Like Gay People Kissing On Days Of Our Lives.


I have a confession to make:

I’m a housewife and I watch Days of our Lives.

I also have another confession to make:

Seeing two guys kiss kind of makes me uncomfortable.



My favorite daytime Soap now has two homosexual characters that are starting to make out on a regular basis.  Whenever I see it… I feel kind of weird.  It’s a little shocking… in an ice water kind of way.

I went to a performing arts college – practically half of my class was gay.  I was also a working actor for over a decade after that, and have very dear friends that are gay.  However, most of my gay friends now live on different coasts and since becoming a housewife I have been severely… underexposed.

I don’t feel weird when I see a husband kiss his wife on the sidewalk in front of my house.  I don’t feel uncomfortable when the heterosexual characters go at it on Days of Our Lives.  I think it makes me feel weird because it’s something I’m not used to.  It’s shockingly different.  My weekly viewings of Glee aren’t enough to make it still feel normal to watch.

I imagine it’s how some people feel when a woman breastfeeds in public.  People shift in their chairs…

They whisper to each other…

They slightly shake their heads…

They feel uncomfortable…

They ask a restaurant manager to make the woman leave or stop.

Breastfeeding advocates around the world encourage women to nurse in public because of the idea that the more people see it, the more normal it becomes.

It’s one of the most normal, natural things in the world, but I’ve found myself on a number of occasions huddled in my car trying to uncomfortably feed my baby.  I’ve sat on a bench with my son under a nursing cover hoping that no one would notice… then felt strangely guilty for feeling ashamed.  I’ve felt bold.  I’ve felt natural.  I’ve felt nervous.  I’ve felt dirty.

I can’t help but wonder if any of my gay friends feel that way when they kiss their partner hello or goodbye in a public place.

I don’t want you to feel that way…

and I don’t want to feel as uncomfortable as I do when I see it – my self-touted open minded and open heartedness is crumbling before me.

Gays of the world, I need your help.

I need you to kiss more in front of me…

and since you never know where I might be at any given time, just do it wherever you are when the urge strikes you… and hope that I see it.

I don’t need you to lick your partners face off – gay or straight that may make me dry heave a little…

But I need to be exposed to more simple displays of homosexual affection.  Seeing love should not make me uncomfortable…

We need a new normal.

You kiss the person you cherish when the moment calls for it.

I’ll nurse my son on a bench when he’s hungry.

Let’s make our acts of love more commonplace…

and then lets make a sandwich, put our feet up, and watch today’s episode of Days of Our Lives.






You might also like

Comments (16)

  • Alison 10 years ago Reply

    I love you. That is all.

  • tracey 10 years ago Reply

    I completely agree! Not with feeling uncomfortable, because I am not. But I totally agree that people need to see it more often so that it’s not something new and unusual.

  • Nancy Davis Kho 10 years ago Reply

    Well said, girl. Love the last two lines. It’s really as simple as that, isn’t it?

  • Jennifer 10 years ago Reply

    I get this. That shift in the seat, why are they doing *that* in public, kind of feeling. I don’t like it either. I mean, I don’t like that I feel that way when I know I shouldn’t. I don’t know how long it will take for it to be “normal”, but I hope it is soon. So yeah, kiss, hold hands, PDA (just nothing PG13, I’ve got kids people), and please ignore me if I look away. I promise to do better.

  • Tanya 10 years ago Reply

    Well said and I get it! Though I think it’s kind of hot. (2 guys kissing, not breastfeeding)

  • Alexandra 10 years ago Reply

    If only we all could … it’ll take an en masse movement, because people? They don’t like to see the tatas being used, but exposed? Why yes to that.

  • Jen 10 years ago Reply

    Girl, this post is… DA’ BOMB!!!!!

    Oh how I love how your mind works.

  • Sheila Skillingstead 10 years ago Reply

    I love the way you wrapped up your blog post. It definitely touched my heart. Learning the new normal can be very uncomfortable. When I was seventeen I visited another church with a friend. There was a baptism. It was a full immersion in a coffin like tub. It made me so uncomfortable. Nowadays I’ve seen other full immersion baptisms and no problem. I agree with the type of kiss should be fit for public. Tonsil hockey isn’t needed by any combination. Don’t feel guilty at using a shield. It’s a good transition device for you. Here’s my favorite post of the week. My RSS feed isn’t getting picked up today. Enjoy your Saturday.

  • hilljean 10 years ago Reply

    When I saw the title I had no clue how you were gonna do it. But you did, and it was cool 🙂

  • Melanie 10 years ago Reply

    I had to read this when I saw the title on the Sharefest. Two seemingly different things are really both acts of love that can make people uncomfortable. I was much more discreet with my first son. Now that I am nursing my second I feed him whenever and wherever he is hungry. The only person really uncomfortable with it seems to be my husband. He still prefers me to be discreet.

  • Sandy 9 years ago Reply

    Well said my friend!!

    I personally believe you would see this more if not for fear of an act of vengeance.


  • Lady Estrogen 9 years ago Reply

    OK. Even though I agree that most of us are under exposed to it, I freakin’ jumped up and cheered when Will & Sonny FINALLY kissed. Loved it! Love them & their hot, dorky gay love. Ha

    And now Will is going to ruin it all. Gah!!

  • Erin 9 years ago Reply

    Just found you vlog and now your blog …you are wonderful! I’ll get busy now and read your past post! I already can see ill be LOLing all night! Thanks~e

  • William Dameron 9 years ago Reply

    Just found your blog through blogher. I’m one of the men who might just feel a little uncomfortable on stage with the other VOTY honorees this year. (sort of like the way you might feel a little uncomfortable seeing me and my husband kiss 🙂

    Thank you for writing this, and I get it. I get what you are feeling because it took me 43 years to kiss a man. I want to kiss my husband all the time in public. I want to hold his hand, but sometimes? It isn’t safe and every time I do, I wonder if there will be someone who tells me how sick it is. But, I do kiss him, because to me it is the most natural thing in the world and also because I won’t ever hide my love again.

    I hope one day you get to see me kiss Paul….

    Jenni Chiu 9 years ago Reply

    I hope so too… and congratulations on VOTY. It is an incredible honor.

  • Sonny Bellotte 7 years ago Reply

    Thank you. I’m so tired of people getting offended by every little thing. Especially by love. Heterosexual privilege is an ugly thing, and it’s time straight people got over themselves. Thank you for being brave enough to talk about it. Because the more we LGBT show the rest of the world that we are “normal”, and the more forward-thinking writers like you talk about it and expose anti-gay bias for the ridiculousness that it is, the sooner it will change and become as beautiful as watching a sunset. And maybe, just maybe, by the time you have a gay great-grandson, he won’t have to live in the same fear that my generation has had to live with.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.