40 years



40 years of treading.

A few years of digging in.


40 years of support.

27 years of pirouetting.

6 years of swaying and rocking.


40 years of participating…

of caressing,


and letting go.

arm good

40 years of reaching and pulling.

7 years of jiggling.


32 years of being hard as a rock.

5 years of stretching, shrinking, and incubating.

3 years of hanging over the waistband.


33 years of being barely there.

4 years of doing what they were made to do.


40 years of bearing witness…


of tears…


of laughs.

this is 40

So this is my forty…

It’s very middle-feeling.

Not really old. Definitely not young.

I remember when a mixed tape was a token of love, yet unabashedly love Taylor Swift.

not gonna lie

I’m not gonna lie.

I’m tired a lot…

my left shoulder makes a popping sound,

and I’ve somehow developed a “trick knee”.

I thought it would be a bigger deal – this loss of youth.

I’m uncomfortable with time’s relentless forward motion…

mostly because I have yet to master living in the present…

But I also know now what is truly a crisis and what isn’t.

I’ve experienced love and loss and trauma and rising from the ashes.


40 feels like resilience…


which is pretty good.


Pretty damn good.







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Comments (17)

  • Happy birthday!!! I love you xoxo

  • Love it Jenni! Wise words and great photos.

  • Debi 7 years ago Reply

    You are amazing. 40 is what you make it, my friend. We may not be as young or as tight around the middle as we once were but we are certainly wiser. Happiest of birthdays! Xoxo

  • Alison 7 years ago Reply

    Happy 40th, gorgeous!

  • Ellie 7 years ago Reply

    You look pretty good at your 40. I think I looked my best at my 45. Happy Birthday and many many ……. more ????????????????????????????????

  • You are gorgeous, and these pictures and your words are beautiful. Happy happy birthday!

  • Oh, I love you for this. With my 40th coming up on Sunday I would agree. Not young, but not so old either. A good age, I think.

    Happy birthday!

  • Angela 7 years ago Reply

    Amazing images and an amazing message! Happy birthday 🙂

  • Erin white 7 years ago Reply

    Love it! Happy 40 candles!

  • Erin white 7 years ago Reply

    Opps, I’m not sure why thanksgivaway was tagged in that… Sorry.. Not on purpose..

  • Happy Happy Birthday 🙂

    40 years, and more awesome every day.

  • Jess 7 years ago Reply

    Whoa. That was the most incredible birthday post I’ve ever read. Seriously.

  • Mama Mary 7 years ago Reply

    Love this, Jenni! Happy Bday and welcome to the club! 🙂 xoxox

  • Kim 7 years ago Reply

    Your last two photos say it all – confident smile of a strong woman and the embrace of your children. Great post. And Happy Birthday!

  • Arnebya 7 years ago Reply

    40 is special, neither old nor young. It’s just right, as are you.

  • Amanda 7 years ago Reply

    I simply adore you.

  • alexandra 7 years ago Reply

    I love what you say, I feel just the same. “The unsettling about the getting old is the not grasping the way to do it, yet.” Yes, it goes on, I scramble to understand, and it goes on… I love this post, Jenni.

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